Sadly, Marilyn Burns, star or the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was found dead today at her home in Houston, Texas. She was 65. Our thoughts go out to her Friends and Family.

-ZK

I can only tell you the truth about this game, no ‘Zombieking’ bullshit this time, only a heartfelt plea to the gamers and horror fans out there:

I got the chance to play this party game when it was in it the baby stages… I was at a small convention, in Hudson Ohio, called ‘Ancon‘. The Queen and I were guest speakers regarding the Zombie Outbreak (the show that year was about the Zompocalypse), and we showed one of our favorite movies ‘Sars Wars’ to enthusiastic games and horror fans alike. That convention was memorable for not only was it the very first ‘Zombieinfo.com’ booth, but for this game. It isn’t horror… but HORRIFYING!!! I mean, some of the cards literally creep you the fuck out! We went to a little get together at the show, it was like an old meeting of friends although a few of us were new to eachother…it just had a homey feeling.
We had about 10 folks around a table and this guy I had been chatting to (Dave) pulls out this game- now I had met he and his wife (Tamara) at a different convention years past that I attend when they were showing another game called Management Material… that one is fun too, but this was a bunch of gamers hanging out and trying a new game- one that was still being tweaked wasn’t even out yet. How could we say no?
What followed was one of the BEST times I have ever had playing a game. No joke, no bullshit. If you check out their KICKSTARTER you will not regret getting involved and getting one of the best games I have played into a reality.
That night I said to Dave and Tamara: “How can I help getting this made, how can I get involved.” We brainstormed and kept in touch, every few months we’d phone each other and keep at the ideas, well they just did up a Kickstarter to, well… get it started, and since I have this nifty website and all of you, well I’d really like to try to help them out, and to get you all involved as well if you can!

I promise to get back to my Zombieking bullshit next time, but this time… I just had to play it straight.

CLICK HERE TO HELP THE HEBBIE JEEBIES KICKSTARTER!!!

The IMDB page says the plot is this: Janey is sent to a silent meditation retreat, in the woods, for rehabilitation, only to realize that the men who run it are brainwashing women, and if she breaks the rules, she’ll discover what lurks beyond the trees.

I see it differently. WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I usually try not to post spoilers to movies but the only way I can effectively review this is to look at the plots that play out in this movie… So here it goes. The girls that have been sent to this retreat are actually girls that have been court ordered to attend for rehabilitation (of some kind). And yes, the retreat is run by a man who is later revealed to be brainwashing these women into being nice little ‘Stepford wives’ seeming being groomed for his 2 SONS that work there as well. It’s a weird seeming revenge plot on his ex-wife that was cheating on him… or something, because that just seems tacked on to the story to me. Oh…and then there is the bat monster in the woods that kills the disobedient ones. SO I guess we now know what Bat-Boy has been up to lately.

Yeah… that is a really the plot. I think.
Here is the thing: I think the writers wanted to write 2 movies. I also think that both movies would have been pretty good.
1 movie is the patriarchal insane father attempting to control these women and mold them into some twisted ideal that he thinks would suit his family through mind control- which in of itself would have been a REALLY interesting movie.
The other movie is a tale of nature gone wrong in the proximity of a legitimately real rehabilitation center for criminals that happen to encounter the titular monster. Again- an awesome movie.
what we get in Silent Retreat is the bastard love child of these two great ideas, and while there are some great moments that threaten to happen, it never quite gets there. Plot points get revealed in an ‘Oh, yeah… now this happens’ kind of manner, and the cast does the best they can with the roles given.
THE GOOD:
-The actress playing Janey (Chelsea Jenish) is likable and has to carry a role where she is unable to speak for most of it… not an easy thing to do.
-The creature design is fantastic and is not revealed too early like a lot of recent films.
-The main doctor (Robert Nolan) is great with the screen time given, I really liked him for what we did see of him- if only he were given the role in ‘Movie 1’ above we could have explored the back story more…
-The shots were beautiful, and at times haunting, the visual appeal of the film was really wonderful.
THE BAD:
-The story meanders too much, only to come back to a plot point seeming forgotten to be revealed at the right time, instead giving a feeling of getting ‘tacked on’. Just pick a story direction already.
-No one give a shit about any of the other girls, they aren’t developed at all until they interact with Janey. Their demises mean nothing so they didn’t even need to be there aside from being cannon fodder.
-The Doctor (yes that is the character name) is supposed to have 2 sons. Honestly, not two frat boys that were given roles to stand around in. They might as well been cardboard cut outs. No family interaction or development makes these two useless.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Tricia Lee is going to have a great future as a director, I hope she can get some more cohesive scripts after this though. She seems to have a great eye and while is appears from the above that I didn’t like the movie, that is not true- I did like it. I just would have liked it MORE if it was more cohesive. In an age where women’s issues are a hot button topic, the insane conditioning angle was the more interesting story to me, and I just wish it went more into the psychological side of that. Or marauding bat creature (or CREATURES!!!) terrorizing a retreat- just not both. Because I like the ideas, but not the execution, this one gets:

I’m the Zombieking, and this topic is now DEAD to me!
-ZK

Come watch Silent Retreat with us at the Mayfair Theatre!!! We will be giving out prizes and such, show starts at 11:15pm.

The creep factor is HIGH!!!
Check out the Facebook for the film HERE.

Hope to see you and your friends on Friday the 13th!!!

-ZK

Yep- Leprechaun: Origins… that is happening, and it looks REALLY FUCKING SCARY!
The same studio (along with our favorite horror queens the Soska Sisters) are also releasing See No Evil 2 this year… Now, can we get Jacob Goodnight vs. the Leprechaun at Wrestlemania 2015, then my damn year will be MADE!

-ZK